I was less involved in the sales side of the business and I was usually found in the back while the sales girls were front of house. It was a quiet Tuesday morning when one of the sales girls called me out, “Sir, we have a customer that wants to have a look at the premier collection of engagement rings.”
It was around 3 months earlier that I had to take extra precautions about displaying these rings after we had an attempted robbery. It was a snatch and grab and luckily the sales girl had her wits about her and was able to lock the door before the assailant was able to leave but as a precaution I asked to be called on to the shop floor when the items were out.
I came out with the intention of letting the sales girl continue to make her sale but that is when I saw her, I was struck for a second but then instinct took over as I held the sales girl back and said, “I will handle this.”
I had to push Russell into taking the next step in the relationship but he was reluctant and deep down I felt he saw me as a holding piece until something better came along. We had a blazing row as I brought up the question of marriage. We had been dating for 12 months and I wanted that next step before I waste anymore time.
Deep down I did not want the wedding or relationship with Russell but what I really wanted was the social media points an engagement and big glamorous wedding bring.
He stormed out after our row but text me a few minutes later, “Just buy the bloody ring yourself. You are never happy with my decisions anyway.”
Here I was at a specialist jeweller. My good friend Divya had recommended as they had unique designs. I always wanted the next best or one of a kind thing. I had to be unique or a trendsetter. It was the influencer life.
The sales lady had said she needed to speak to the manager when I asked to see their collection. Now a man was walking towards me. I was immediately struck by his confident look and smile. His smile had a way of disarming me.
He brought over a collection of rings, “Hello there young lady. I understand you want to see our premium collection. It starts off at $80,000.”
I did not like the way he said young lady. It was patronising and it annoyed me. I snapped back, “Well your selection maybe a little cheap as I was looking to spend twice that.”
He leaned back and nodded, “Ok. Ok. I am sorry I did not mean anything by it. My name is Jag. Let me show you the collection.”
I hated the condescending tone of men when it came to money. He showed me the collection and I loved the exquisite designs. He made the usual promises that they were one of a kind and every design was unique. He also said he would be able to customise any ring to my specification.
It was when he held my finger to assess the size and suitability that I felt chills over my body. There was a sensuality to the way we touched but I ignored it.
I was going through my specifications when he said, “You look very familiar. Who did you say recommended you?”
I hated being seen by fans or followers but it seemed like he would not be familiar with my online personality, “A friend of mine recommended this place. Divya Kapoor”.
He had a wry smile on his face, “Oh yes. I remember her well. Her fiancé was going to pay twice the price for an inferior product before she came here. It takes an empowered woman to know what she wants and not wait for a man to buy the wrong ring.”
I laughed and thought he could not be any more wrong, my man had to be forced into the idea of engagement and then wanted me to buy the ring, “I am not as empowered as I look or the ring would have been on my finger long ago.”
I found myself revealing too much but I found the conversation with him so easy that my mask was slipping, “Only a fool would not have you tied down by now.”
I though “tied down” was an odd phrase but I let it be and finalised the designs before leaving. It was going to be a 2 week wait for the ring.
As the week progressed I thought about my conversation with Jag and I wondered why I was not getting the commitment from Russell that I needed. It was our date night and he had booked a meal at an upscale restaurant. We had date night once a month as we both had busy schedules and rarely saw each other. It was a pleasant enough evening over food and I liked the ambiance of the restaurant. I was having a glass of wine, it was my third glass of the evening and I always felt my inhibitions loosen after 2 or more. Our date night always ended in sex and I was eager to get back to my apartment to fuck. I began stroking his thigh as a signal to get out of here. He leaned over and whispered, “Have you been taking the pill?” He was really killing my mood and my annoyance was building up at his obsession with contraception, “No babe. We are engaged now and I want to be ready for our honeymoon. You can wear a condom tonight.”
He pushed me away as he aggressively whispered, “Are you fucking serious? You cannot rely on condoms and we are never having kids. I do not want to be married to some fat housewife.” I was shocked and shaken by his outburst. He tried to keep his voice down but the tables around us were aware of what happened before he stormed out.
It was an exclusive restaurant and it was a relief to know that this exchange would not leave the restaurant. I kept my composure and left the restaurant shortly after. Once I was home I was able to let my guard down and I broke down my anxieties and doubts all coming to the surface. How could I be with someone that only liked the idea of me? A thin successful business woman? If I was fat, would I be a different person? I wanted to be loved for who I was.
My emotions were everywhere and as I got into bed I thought back to my exchange with Jag. He was able to get through to the real me beyond the image that I cultivated for myself.