Don’t worry, we’ve all been there, wondering how to flirt with your crush. With practice, I went from tragic to flirting queen.
We’ve all been in the situation where we sit next to our crush with the perfect opportunity to say something. Of course, most of us don’t. Instead, we sit there with sweaty palms thinking, waiting for them to say something. But if you want your crush to progress into something more, you can’t sit there waiting for them to say something. You need to learn how to flirt with your crush to get the energy going between you two.
How to flirt with your crush
I remember talking to my crush for the first time. I was so nervous I couldn’t speak a full sentence. Trust me, it’s not easy. But once you pass that first encounter, talking to your crush becomes easier. Remember, they’re just people.
Once you start talking, it’s time to drop a couple flirtatious hints at them. Nothing too serious, but it’s good to test the waters and see what they think about you. So, it’s time you learned the ropes. Once you know what to do, it’ll be easy.
#1 You know how to flirt, you’re just nervous. Everyone can flirt. It’s a natural part of communication. Flirting is meant to build sexual tension between two people. So, you actually know how to flirt, it’s instinctual.
The real problem is you’re nervous. This is when you stutter, laugh nervously, or end up saying something stupid. Now, if they’re smart, they see your nerves and they do the talking to help you relax.
#2 Do not put them on a pedestal. This is another huge issue when it comes to knowing how to flirt with your crush. You know how to flirt, but the problem is, you see them almost as a celebrity. They’re this magical, perfect person you’re in love with.
Now, I’m not saying that feeling this is bad, but when you idolize someone, you lose yourself in that image of them rather than seeing them for what they really are.
#3 Find your confidence. You need to be confident in yourself. It doesn’t matter if you flirt with your crush or not. The only way to flirt with them is if you feel you are worthy. They’re only human. So, if you feel that getting a haircut or a new shirt will boost your confidence, then do it. Do whatever makes you feel good, that way, they see the confidence shine out of you. [Read: 10 subtle body language move to appear more confident]
#4 Make the first move. If you don’t make the first move, you’ll wait your whole life for them. Trust me on this one. I was in love with this one guy and I did everything to get him to talk to me—and nothing. Then after a couple years, I ran into him at a party and I started the conversation. We hit it off! Did we date? No. But the point is, you shouldn’t be scared to make the first move, who knows what will become of it.
#5 Don’t flirt right away. This isn’t a race. You don’t have to rush into flirting with this person. Take your time and go at a speed that feels comfortable for you. If it takes you a week before you start flirting, that’s okay.
There’s no time limit to flirting, you do what makes you feel good. If you approach this person, but you’re too nervous, just try having a normal conversation with them and see how it goes.
#6 Don’t let your friends influence what you do. This is so common when it comes to talking to your crush. Your friends are going to be highly involved, telling you what you should do, what you shouldn’t do. Now, some of your friends will be right. However, at the end of the day, it really depends on what makes you feel good.
#7 Compliment them. Everyone loves compliments. It’s a great way to show someone you pay attention to them without actually saying, “Hey, I’m watching you and I notice every detail.”
It’s a subtle way of flirting and a good method to use to warm yourself up. What’s important though, is that you actually mean what you say. People can tell when you just compliment to be polite. Don’t be that person. If you say it, mean it.
#8 Tease them. You were probably told not to tease people when you were younger. Which, when you were five was good advice. But now you delete that from your memory. Teasing is a great way to flirt with your crush. Now, don’t insult them. Instead, lightly poke them, make them tease you back. This is what builds the sexual tension.
#9 Touch them. Flirting isn’t just about what you say, it’s also about body language. Of course, I know, deep down, you just want to rip their clothes off but that’s not what I mean by touching. Save that for a little later, we’re still at square one.
Your touching doesn’t have to be aggressive, simply touch their arm when they make a joke, or lean into them when you speaking to them. Your goal is to get closer to them. Remember, you don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable. ]
#10 If you can’t do face-to-face, text. Maybe you’re not ready to start flirting with this person face-to-face. I get it, it can be easier to talk over text. You don’t have to look at them. Plus, you have some time to think about what you’re going to say.
So if you want to go easy when it comes to knowing how to flirt with your crush, texting may be a better way to do it without becoming nervous. Knowing how to flirt over text is another art within itself, so, learn how to text properly in order to flirt successfully over text.
#11 No cheesy pick-up lines. Whatever you do, if you end up freezing on the spot with your mind blank, do not use a cheesy pick-up line. I don’t like begging, but I beg you, don’t do it. You get nothing out of it and no one, man or woman, looks at you and thinks the “falling from heaven” line you just used was charming. Just say hi if you can’t think of anything.
#12 End conversations on a high note. You don’t have to keep a conversation running if you need to go or feel that it’s best to cut it before it gets dull. You can feel when a conversation should end and I know you really like them, but ending it on a high note will do you much better in the long run.
Plus, it adds a little mystery to you. You show interest but you’re not throwing yourself at them, so, it adds more excitement.
#13 The eyes say it all. It’s really all in the eyes. You flirt without even talking to them. Why? It’s all in the eyes. Body language is a huge factor in flirting.
When you speak, make sure you keep eye contact just a little longer than you normally would. Now, remember, don’t keep eye contact too long, just a couple seconds longer. Unless they look at you with that “I want to kiss you” look.
#14 Ask for their number. If you’re not good at hinting for their number, then why not just ask them for theirs. I mean, if you flirt and things seem to be going well, why not? If you’re still at the stage where you’re introducing each other, then you can wait before asking them. However, if it feels good then just ask. The worst thing that could happen is that they say no.
#15 Don’t try to change yourself. So many people try to change to impress their crush. Listen, if you don’t like shopping but they do, this doesn’t mean you drag yourself around the shopping malls with them. If they’re into motorcycles, you don’t need to learn how to ride one. This isn’t an 80’s chick flick. Don’t change who you are if you want to know how to flirt with your crush the right way. Yes, you can get a new haircut or a pair of shoes, but don’t try to be someone else.
Now that you know how to flirt with your crush, what are you waiting for? I know, it’s scary, but you have to do it. What do you really have to lose?