Take this test to find out how resilient you and your partner are. Add the numbers up as you go and check the results at the end of the test.
You have a fun, innocent chat with an attractive stranger at a party. How do you reply when your partner asks about it?
1. “It was fun but no big deal.”
2. “You haven’t been paying me any attention.”
3. “It didn’t happen. Did you imagine it?”
4. “You behave even worse.”
How much does your partner flirt with others?
1. My partner always treats everyone in the same friendly manner.
2. My partner loves being the centre of attention.
3. My partner flirts but gets defensive when I ask about it.
4. I feel someone is more than a friend, but my partner denies it every time, so I’ve let it go.
What is the first thing you think of when your partner does something irritating like forgetting to pick up something from the store?
1. You’re really busy and have so much on your mind.
2. I can’t trust you to do this simple thing. I have to do everything myself.
3. You’re always forgetting to do stuff.
4. If you truly loved me, my needs would be more important to you.
How do you resolve major disputes?
1. We try to talk through it and come to a compromise.
2. I mostly just back down to keep the peace.
3. My partner backs down and accepts it when I have a stronger case.
4. We generally don’t solve them; we even have subjects we never speak of.
How often does your partner pay you a compliment or show appreciation to you?
1. Every time.
2. They probably mean to, but forget because they’re too busy.
3. Once in a while when I put in special efforts or give hints.
4. Only after a fight or when they need something.
How would your partner describe your attitude to lovemaking?
1. I am an equal partner that helps make our love life exciting and rewarding.
2. I enjoy sex when we have it, but I am often too stressed out by some commitments.
3. I am always so willing, I can sometimes be a bit of a pest.
4. I sometimes just agree to have sex to keep things even.
How does your partner deal with stress?
1. Talks about it with me.
2. Discusses it with friends or family.
3. Bottles it up until it explodes.
4. Eases it with a drink, by playing games, exercising or other distractions.
1-7. High resilience
Life can get tough and problems may arise, but you and your partner have each other’s backs and know how to communicate effectively and sort out problems before they get out of hand. However, you may experience some life events that test relationships seriously. Discuss your current circumstances with your partner and be open about the possible implications.
8-14. Good resilience
You and your partner communicate quite well, but you need to brush up on those skills. You may sometimes take each other for granted, especially when you are stressed or tired. But for love to grow and thrive, you need ten good things, like compliments, appreciation and flirty texts to combat one single nasty trait like being sarcastic.
15-20. Okay resilience
You and your partner love each other, but that isn’t enough to hide the problems. Even though you may be stressed, don’t expect your partner to know that you care. Assumptions may lead to distrust and misunderstandings. Instead, work on improving your communication; state your needs clearly and learn to compromise when there is a disagreement.
21+. In danger of being devastated
Before you took this test, you knew that your relationship was in a dark place, but you had no idea how to fix it. Opening up in the past may have ended up making you both defensive and angry. To solve issues like this, face them head-on. Ask each other sincere questions about how to resolve your problems and what changes you need to make. If you find yourselves getting upset again, take a step back and try again later.