“TUESDAY, February 14, is the day I dread,”
wrote in Victoria who called herself a self-
opinionated modern middle-aged survivor!
“Valentine’s Day is when the populace is cruelly
divided into winners and losers. You can easily
spot the winners – those smug creeps swanning
around with a self-satisfied smile on their faces,
like the cat that got the cream.

They’re the ones who have flowers delivered to
their office, or who already know they have been
invited out for a ‘special treat’ on St. Val’s
evening. The ones who got a hand-delivered
cards or special delivery presents. Or the ones
who woke up to find a saucy e- card had plopped
into their in-box overnight. Yuck!

“The rest of us, the so-called losers in love – will
spend the day, superficially behaving as normal,
acting as if we have better things to do than drink
choice wines and eat romantic dinners by candle
light. But deep down, we’ll be experiencing that
mixture of jealousy and impotent rage that only
comes on St. Valentine’s day – because we’ve
been unfairly categorised as rejects, yet again.
Tossed on the stockpile of non-essential
singletons. Destined never to rise to the dizzy
heights of being an object of love, or even an
object of fumbled lust.

“I loathed the banality of Valentine’s Day, the
horrible notion of designating one day in the year;
that occasion to declare our love for another
person. It seems so arbitrary. A fake ‘celebration’
exploited by greeting cards manufacturers and
florists. As for the romantic concept of anonymity,
that vanished decades ago.

These days, hand-made cards, designer
chocolates, exotic flowers and tasteful – not
tarty knickers are so expensive we want to make
sure the lucky recipient knows who coughed up,
so we sign our names on the package.

“Valentine’s Day started before the Middle Ages
– even Chauser wrote about it: The Victorians
celebrated it by sending beautiful hand-painted
cards with lacy cut -outs of birds and flowers.
But back in those days, sex was something that
happened after marriage. Romantic love really
existed, and these cards were one way to
express the unsayable, and perhaps win a
woman’s heart. In the modern world of sexting
and e- mails about sexual conquests in the
workplace, what’s so special about coughing up
for a mass-produced Valentine card, or an over-
priced bunch of roses at your local supermarket?
“My hatred of Valentine’s Day started as a
teenager. With my ugly specs, braided hair and
wonky teeth, I was never going to be the stuff of
anyone’s dreams. In my mind I was a winner, an
individual, someone whose potential hadn’t yet
been spotted by any local member of the opposite
sex. Even so, every Valentine’s day was torture
– the day when all the ‘normal’ girls gloated and
made the rest of us feel awkward and miserable
because we weren’t wearing padded bras and
didn’t have a
cheap card from some spotty bloke who, thanks
to hand-outs from their parents could buy cards
so they could get into our knickers.

“Although by the time I was 16, I had managed to
score a few real cards, sadly these were mostly
sent by boys who were so creepy I chucked their
attempts at romance straight in the bin. These
vulgar offerings weren’t worthy of a kiss! Over
the years, I have come to associate Valentine’s
Day with lying and deception. I’ve often given
cards to men I’m fed up with, just for a quiet life.

It’s polite, isn’t it? Real love, true passion, has
been downgraded into this bland marketing
opportunity..

I might make a tunny card for my partner, but it
will celebrate his quirky shortcomings, not his
sexual prowess in bed. As for going out, it’s the
worst night of the year to be in a restaurant. At
exactly the same time, your favourite restaurant
will fill up with slightly embarrassed couples who
will start the evening whispering, ‘then gradually
run out
of things to say to each other, before swiftly
degenerating into bored mutual silence
“Between each couple will be a sad single rose in
a glass, bravely trying to convey a feeling of
gorgeous romance. In the background, smoochy
music will attempt to paper over the cracks in
these flimsy relationships. I mean, how many
times can you endure a loop of Chris de Burgh’s
Lady In Red, Bryan Adams’ (Everything I do) I Do
It For You and – the killer track that often makes
me gag – Whitney Houston burbling I Will
Always Love You?

“Instead, on Valentine’s Day, why not celebrate
friendships – our relationships that don’t rely on
sex? I shall be spending Valentine’s day evening
having a meal with one of my ex-husbands and
his very nice wife, together with my partner of ten
years, an old friend and her sister. We’ve known
each other for ever, and it will be an evening of
laughter. As a society, we need to connect more
with our friends. Research shows that the number
of people we count as ‘close’ has diminished
drastically over the past decade. There’s a
worrying number
of people who now say they have no one special
in their lives at all, and more of us than ever are
living alone.
“Valentine’s Day should be an opportunity for us
to reach out and be friendlier to each other. To
hell with the roses, the chocolates, the smutty
cards and the frilly pants – why not hug a total
stranger on Tuesday? That’s what modern love
should be about!”


Thomas
Certified Web designer, Computer/Internet
Enthusiast. I believe in Creativity.
Proudly The CEO Of Primebaze.com.ng
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