Marriage is a different journey from that
which you have been taking; it is the union
of two emotional, physical and behavioural
It is one of the biggest commitments you
have to make in your lifetime and it is only
wise you make the best decision.
As such, it is mandatory that certain things
are discussed between the couple and an
agreement be made before saying ‘I do’.
1. Discuss the family’s income: As finances
tend to be a big issue between the couples it
is only wise to discuss it. Talk about how
much you earn, how much you are willing to
invest in the family you are planning to have,
how much you are willing to give your
Work with a budget to build the best family.
2. Discuss family planning: Discuss
contraceptives methods, the number of
children you would love to have, the age
spacing between the children, gender of the
3. Build a friendly relationship with your in-
laws: This is mostly from ladies who feel
their mother-in-laws are monsters sent from
the pit of hell. Go into every marriage with a
clean heart, don’t judge based on what you
have heard or what you perceive.
We all are humans and tend to have negative
traits, instead of dwelling on your in-law’s
negatives focus on the positives.
4. Attend premarital counselling: Either it is
a counselling section with your religious
head, or elders in your community, or a
relationship expert, make sure you book for
a counselling class once a week.
5. Discuss intimacy: Discuss sexual positions
and sexual limits. Know what turns your
partner on and off in the bedroom.
6. Discuss house chores: In this era of gender
equality and feminism, you should discuss
everything to the tiniest bits and be sure all
parties are happy with the decision made.
Make sure you discuss who does what in the
home. If she cooks, would you wash the
dishes? And if you hate washing dishes what
would you rather do? These are important
questions the couple needs to ask
7. Fix a day for special dinners or friend’s
moment: Set a day termed special by both of
you when you can go out for dinner.
Being in a marriage doesn’t stop you from
hanging out with friends, set out ‘me’ time.
8. Discuss your career: Ask questions like
what do you want to do next? How would
you achieve it?
Discuss your short and long-term career
plans as a couple.