1. Taking too much air time on the first
few dates explaining to him why you don’t
need a man in your life.
Sure, we don’t need a man to be happy, but if
you don’t want one, why are you on the date
in the first place? Many women do this to
appear laid-back and not needy — but it
backfires. Going overboard telling him why
you don’t need a man doesn’t give him a
whole lot of room to imagine being in your
2. Out of nervousness, some women think
they’re responsible for keeping the
conversation momentum going, then
complain that men don’t show up and
engage with them.
Chattering on and on while monopolizing the
conversation is exhausting for anyone. Let
there be some dead air time between the two
of you and let him be the one to jump in and
Communication research has shown that
men form their thoughts and articulate them
at a different pace than women do. Count to
10 in your head before speaking again and
give your date a chance to jump in — 99
percent of the time, a man will continue
talking if you don’t interrupt him.
3. Texting, calling, Facebooking and
tweeting too often in hopes of being witty
and staying on his mind.
Nature abhors a vacuum, so trust space.
Create some for him to miss you and in the
mean time, get on with your life. Needy isn’t
4. Trying too hard. Women often forget to
lean back and give the guy room to lean
Ever try to catch a bug in a swimming pool?
The faster you move your hand forward
trying to grab it, the more out of reach it
Pull back a little and let him float towards
you. When we have healthy self-esteem, we
lean back a little more, watch as things
unfold and trust the process.
5. Too much of anything.
As my dad used to say, pick a part to feature.
Show some cleavage or show some leg, but a
cut up to there and plunging down to there
sort of dress is over the top.
There’s nothing wrong with dressing sexy,
but leaving nothing left to the imagination,
does just that — there’s nothing left for him